Dear Anita, in response to your first post yesterday,

““It is sad. I wish I could fix him, help him to learn to take responsibility and see others pain. See the weight of words, and emotional instincts so that he could one day experience a soulmate“- it is sad that in your efforts to help him, you’d be  allowing him to destroy you.”

-yes true. a tragic Shakespearean love story, where she debates to be or not to be…

““When you mentioned breaking up for the first time, I remember feeling relief“- as in the murky (confusion/ exhaustion) gone from the white light..  the spiritual energy freed from its cage, allowing for clarity and life energy?”

-Yes, but then I got in my car to go back home and it got dark and murky and I needed comfort, so I went to it.. the thing I miss now.

 “he did not even think about or consider the content of what you said. What he heard (in his low vibrational/ closed crown chakra state), was that you accused him of something or that you said something he didn’t like, so his response: to deflect”, to redirect you.

-is this the teflon?

Part two of your post:

“Okay, so the imagery change: You are a sea turtle and N is a shark. Your best defense is to swim away from him as fast as you can (No Contact). If the sea turtle has empathy for the shark, that very empathy will slow it down or make it stop its fleeing altogether, ending with the sea turtle being prey.”

-This is a good response to my first post this morning of missing the shark. Why do we miss things that harmed us? just because of familiarity?

“Do you think he knows he was manipulating?“- yes, he knows. But he doesn’t know-know, meaning he doesn’t think deeply about it, just as he doesn’t think deeply about anything that he doesn’t find it necessary to think about. Unlike you, he is not curious to grow, gain wisdom, and understand life and the meaning of it.

-It is an interesting concept that he didn’t “know-know,” I am curious how someone can operate on such an unconscious level? It rings true that he doesn’t think deeply about things that he doesn’t find necessary, but why is this?

– he doesn’t give any thought to your questions and concerns, instead he throws them back at you. He is about deflecting, accusing, denying, guilt-tripping,  gaslighting.. He is about Winning, no matter the cost. He is not about growing, gaining wisdom, and understanding life and the meaning of it.

-He said with words that he wanted to grow but he didn’t with actions and I don’t think he sees the value in it, but why? So this is a huge value I have for a future partner: curious about life and a want to grow in wisdom and understand meaning in human life.

I am feeling clearer now than I did last night and this morning.

Seaturtle