Anita,

“He said with words that he wanted to grow but he didn’t with actions and I don’t think he sees the value in it, but why? So this is a huge value I have for a future partner: curious about life and a want to grow in wisdom and understand meaning in human life“- It is easy to say words.. maybe the why (above and here) is that it’s way easier to reject things before consideration (the Teflon Mind) and it is way easier and simpler, in the short term, to not consider the meaning in human life, etc.”

-Perhaps it is easier but isn’t it more painful? I am not teflon, so perhaps I just don’t relate at all. Is his MO, teflon? that is something about him that likely won’t change?

-When I say more painful, I mean ignoring the meaning of why something happened, or why I behaved a certain way would make me feel stifled, like I was holding something back and needed to just burst. But he just let’s stuff just slide right off of him and not wonder about why or where they came from, being numb to the world sounds like the most lonely and pointless life, a waste of life itself if I may.

“I am feeling clearer now than I did last night and this morning“- good, that was Fri morning. How are you this Saturday?

-This Sunday I woke up a little stressed and here is why. Yesterday I asked my mom to text N asking for my flight confirmations, after all she did pay for it so I told her to text him “can you please send me her flight information that I paid you for” he did. This morning I went to see if I could choose a seat on the flight and realized there are no other seats and since we booked together and have the same confirmation I can see his flight information as well and we are sitting next to eachother…I figured he would cancel the flight since his family lives about 4 hours away from the airport by my family…but I suppose with the holiday flights perhaps he has no other option but to fly in and take a train to his home. But this puts us on all the flights and layovers together and I really don’t know how to feel about this. When I saw this I froze in time for about 30 minutes just not sure what to do.

“- how is your knee today, and did you do yoga? Yoga’s chest and shoulder opening poses are excellent for opening the heart chakra: I do one such every morning.”

My knee is moveable, and I was able to go on a little bike ride, but it ended up not being good for my sickness. My knee is badly bruised still, so I can move it but I can’t do like cat-cow yoga poses or anything on my knee, which is limiting. The yoga classes I have passes to are all hot yoga, and I am not sure if that would be good for me or not… I no longer have a fever or sore throat but I have just been too congested to go to work still, and I have a persistent cough. I am trying to stick with my beliefs that things happen for me not to me. So that I don’t go to far down the road of “I had such healthy plans for this week but instead have not been able to move my body much.” I have done stretching each day, short time, but yesterday I did some core exercises and pushups. Today I will look at some heart chakra yoga on youtube.

With love,

Seaturtle