Hello Anita 🙂

I just wanted to let you know I am home for the holidays until the 26th. And N was not on the plane! He didn’t show up, not sure what is going on for him. I was surprised to feel that I was actually a bit disappointed not to see him… I didn’t expect that feeling. But then I sat to two really nice girls about my age and it took my mind off N long enough to minimize the sadness I felt. I listened to high vibe music and watched a tv show I love. I was a little sad again last night, thinking about what this trip was planned to be with him here… then we watched the new grinch cartoon and I was surprised to feel like I saw N in the child version of the grinch when he goes home to no loving family Christmas and that is what makes him the adult mean grinch. Thought that was an interesting connection and it makes me sad for him. I have spent the majority of the time here so far with my sisters and it feels nice, but I still have a simmering anxiety that kinda shows up and fades. I am fairly certain the anxiety/sadness is about N, not having his presence and feeling alone.

I will read and reply to your message soon, but my online times may vary while I am home.

happy holidays!! 🙂

Seaturtle