Dear Grace:

“The first day we met, he told me about his trip, which was coming up in about a year and a half from then. He made it clear early on that he would be going on his trip alone because that was his plan, and it was important that he stuck to it“- he was honest with you from the get-go.

“We were together then for about a year and a half and our relationship was great. We were each others best friend, went on vacations… I read something he wrote about me that said ‘I am so in love with her mind. I hope that when I settle down its with her or someone just like her’“- a great pre-trip relationship.

“He’s been gone for about 3 months now. We talk on the phone… It has been so hard, I miss him so much. I feel like I’ve just been waiting on him to come home and not knowing when he will… I haven’t healed at all in 3 months since he left because I am just missing him. It hurts talking and it hurts not talking too…I fully support him being on this trip and having this time, but I want to be with him when he comes home“- I am guessing that during the pre-trip period, while you supported him going on his trip by himself, you did not anticipate it being as difficult as it turned out for you. .. you thought it’d be easier?

I wonder if you are angry with him that he didn’t change his mind during the pre-trip period, and taken you with him, or at least offered for the two of you to travel together?

“I told him yesterday that I can’t be friends anymore, that I need time, and can’t talk for a while… I have so much doubt. Did I do the wrong thing? Should I maintain our relationship or is not speaking at all the better thing to do?… Maintaining things OR moving on and letting him go..“-

– depends on whether you feel angry with him, and depends on whether he promised you that he will remain faithful to you during his trip (?)  or did he say that he is not sure about his future with you following the trip?

anita