Dear Seaturtle:

I will reply further to what you already posted and what you will post later, Sun morning. But for now:

“I wonder why this is? Can I not develop this safety within myself?“- never underestimate how much we need other people for a feeling of safety. For a social animal, like a human, safety is about being with other people. So, let’s say you feel fine and dandy as a single woman, an image of N by itself (on the freeway, for example) is enough to tap into that innate feeling-safety-with-him need.

“Did it take trial and error with partners before you were able to find one that met your standards?“- I was too messed up, more messed up than you can imagine.. to be able to experience any continuity of thought and feeling that will allow a learning process which includes trial and error.. I just erred continuously.

More tomorrow, have a good rest of Saturday!

anita