Dear Seaturtle:

I read #1- #7 attentively. My comments below are typed after reading everything:

“I have always loved the idea of having a ‘girl group’ of friends, multiple perspectives and multiple people to be there for you. When I watch of Sex in the City (the movie/show) I want what they have. Even in the tv show Friends“- these are Hollywood shows, not real-life… as you know (but do you know-know…?)

“I wonder if I am pushing away my opportunities for a girl group, or if being with one person at a time is best for me“- one person at a time is best for you.. and for R, as she told you about 4 hours ago: “I was thinking about if we should invite other girls, but I think it should just be us since we have similar goals going and mixing up what everyone wants to do might take away from our both wanting to just explore”-

– a group of 3 or more can work out if there is a unifying theme to the group such as a Christian bible-study group, or the region’s Republic Party group.. or a Codependent Anonymous Support group where there are sets of rules and guidelines as to who speaks and for how long (using a timer), and about what. Or in the Show Friends Group where the sets of rules set by the screen writer and director as to who speaks, when and about what (the exact words).. are the strictest of all (no improvisations in the final product). But otherwise.. not likely to happen.

Your TV shows inspired dream of a group of friends who make the group stronger than the sum of its individual members is not likely, just as you experienced, because people are too disturbed, scattered and often desperate.

R reads like a good enough friend and a person in the best state of mind compared to G and T. T reads like a good friend with.. special needs at this time as she is struggling with a very difficult living situation (no way to have someone else take on her part of the lease, as a sub-tenant or the like?), and G reads like a friend to have in great moderation.. sometimes, in certain circumstances and in an operate-at-your-own-risk basis (lol)

anita