Hi again, I had some thoughts to add to the posts above. It may seem I may be rambling on, but it makes me comfortable, thank you for sticking.

1. I’m filled with regrets and guilt on how I should have been in the relationship. I should have been more tune with my feelings.

2. From the starting of the relationship I thought there is something wrong but I couldn’t place my finger on it. And I got into overthinking about what was wrong. I forgot to enjoy the moment and that things will clear up with time. The relationship was always filled with anxiety and negative feelings. Is it bad that I can’t accept someone for who they are, to tell them to improve?

3. I’m still in touch with SK, and I have apologized to her for treating her badly and also told her what went wrong from her side. She is very caring in this aspect. As to answer her attachment style. I think she has anxious attachment. That’s why she’s always in a rush to get into a relationship with someone. She has no real friends and is very lonely I think. So sometimes I think she’s still talking to me because she’s scared of being alone, but she has a bf now. Why is she still answering to my texts?

4. Sometime back I got a thought that when you can’t wish good for people, it’s better not to wish anything for them at all, rather than wishing them bad things. I’m trying to do the same for SK at the moment. In my imagination I’m sending her all the love from my heart, because I feel my capacity to love is unlimited. I’m doing this get her away from my life and give her the love she deserved, maybe this is out of guilt. But thinking about her and the relationship just hurts me and fills with resentment and memories. I thought this is a better way to move on.

5. I still feel a bond with her, which is now fading away I think, I’m scared to let her go. I removed all the heart and caring chords with her. I don’t know what lies in the future, I’m not hoping for her to come back. Is it okay for me to stop caring her even though she has no real friends? Today I sat with myself and read my gut feeling which said she’s not the one. Maybe in the future you’ll meet again ( but this thought makes my throat a little tight)

Please do share your thoughts on the above.