Hi Tara

I read your post with interest, parts of your post reminded me of myself many many decades ago.

In my early twenties I did not want to waste my time on being in  relationships that were plainly not going anywhere, normally after a couple of weeks I could discern that there was alcohol, gambling or early warning signs of anger issues etc and like you I was the one who terminated the relationships.  I did business studies at college for a year – hated it, joined a firm of accountants as good with figures but this did not light up my soul.

Please tell me about the things that stimulate and bring you joy.  having a high paid job which makes you miserable will not bring you happiness in either the short or long term. What is the point of being successful if it does not bring you real happiness? Many people find satisfaction & friendship in volunteering.  Buddhism talks about the 8 worldly concerns and once we put them aside life has so much more to offer. You tube sravasti abbey has short talks on this topic, I have been listening to their talks for many years and have found them inspiring & informative.

What do you look for in relationships & friendships?

Shunryu Suzuki quote

Each of you is perfect the way you are … and you can use a little improvement.

Wishing you the best in your journey of finding meaning in your life.

Roberta