Dear Robbie:

I spent a long, long time on a reply to your recent post earlier today, almost concluded a long post with quotes and all, like I normally do, and then lost it all after opening a new window. So, this reply will be different and way, way shorter than the one I lost: first, you are welcome and thank you for your kind words and love sentiment. I do hope, like you, that people will be reading your story will draw hope and help from it. You express yourself so well!

Thank you for the author/ book recommendation. I looked up quotes and particularly liked the ones I was able to process (having ADD myself), one about children doing way more reacting (to parents0 than acting; another about how ADD is about tunning out chronic pain experience in childhood because the developing nervous system cannot handle the ongoing (negative) stimulation, nor can the body tolerate the high levels of stress hormones secreted into then blood. It reads like, by the way, that if you, Robbie, suffer from ADD, it’s not as severe as in my case.

I was glad to read that you are still in a long-term relationship with your girlfriend, who reads like a lovely person! I hope that you land a job (in Poland or in Spain) fitting your needs for money/ financial independent, on one hand, and your need for freedom and flexibility, on the other hand.

In regard to your mother, I was thinking about what drives her in regard to how she’s been treating you as a child, and still. It seems to me that she feels guilty for hitting you, for threatening to send you to foster home, etc., (as she should), but her response to her guilty feelings is- unfortunately- not to acknowledge, sincerely apologize for her past behaviors, and correct those- but instead, to guilt-trip and threaten you further. In other words, her solution to her past wrongdoings against you is to .. add wrong on top of wrong… (nice work, mom… not!)

Am I correct in my understanding?

anita