Dear Robi:

You are welcome, and thank you for your appreciation of me! “I’ve spent maybe too much thinking of these aspects that I often feel like I overly analysed the story of my childhood to the point of not living fully in the present moment anymore“- I am all for you living fully in the present moment, aka living mindfully!

“Today I’ve bought my plane ticket to go to Spain. I’m going in the first of March.  New Month, New Beginning…“- – C o N g R a T u L a T i O n S                      and  how exciting…     a     N e w   B e g i n n i n g       !!!!

“Now, tomorrow morning after waking up, I’ll do my yoga, meditate and have an online interview with a Language Academy in Spain. ( Alicante – if you were wondering where I’m going)“-

– About Alicante, Spain: “The area around Alicante has been inhabited for over 7000 years. The first tribes of hunter-gatherers moved down gradually from Central Europe between 5000 and 3000 BC” (Wikipedia). It is amazing that on March 1, 2024 AD, Robi will be flying from Central Europe (Poland) to a place first settled by Central Europeans 5,000 or 7,000 years ago!

“I’d like to become more grounded in these situations, to be less scared of failure and feel less of an impostor. After all, I’ve done it before. I’ve been teaching English for a while and I didn’t suck at it… knowing I’ll have that interview tomorrow – a big wave of anxiety hit me. A wave of nostalgia and false reasoning… Suddenly I’ll miss Poland. I’ll miss the dark, wet and cold days… with the right amount of discipline, awareness and momentum… So, yes, I feel anxious – almost paralysed…  Often my newly discovered sense of courage, the part of me that finds hope and clarity, loses to my older inhabitants that have been the ruling party for much longer”-

– being scared of failure, feeling like a imposter, the wave of anxiety and feeling paralyzed, these “older inhabitants” of your brain-body are neurological- chemical (neurotransmitters, hormones) habits. Intellectual understandings of the whys do not undo such chemical habits. It takes discipline to lower the intensity of the old habits and slowly, with disciplined practice and an attitude of courage, to form new habits.

Notice how instinctively, your brain got nostalgic, as a way to keep you in Poland, so to prevent you from leaving to Spain. Nostalgia.. another mental (neurological- chemical) habit.

“The girlfriend has to stay here for a while. I’d love to be able to take her with me!…She loves (Spain) “- I hope that the two of you will reunite in Spain.. something to look forward to!

“What I’m going to do now, is prepare for the interview. My CV doesn’t even acknowledge I’ve ever moved away from Spain – and on paper, I’ve never stopped teaching English. So now, I gotta make sure tomorrow I look like I know my s****. I know, maybe not completely fair but I’m in a bit of a hurry to get my s**** together.“- Mindfully, being patient with your old habits (they will not just .. disappear), but persistent with the making of new habits… do get your s**** together, I am excited for you!

anita