Hi Anita,

Thank you for responding. Yes, I feel jealous when I see them in social situations or when I see them able to make a conversation very easily. When I feel jealous, I tell myself I don’t deserve to be a friend. How do I approach this? I want to understand where my social anxiety is coming from and how to overcome it.

I understand how what my mom told me influenced me. She told me her instinct says he isn’t right and that she doubted something was going on between us even before we moved to the USA  and that we planned to come to the USA because there was something going on – while in reality, there was nothing! She did see and meet my boyfriend a couple of times in India – we used to be good friends and he used to come home to pick me up or drop me off sometimes. She said she suspected my boyfriend was trying to get me since in India and while the truth is – he did ask me on a date but I was not in the phase then and I said no. He never brought that up again.  She told me, I just moved to a new country and I am taking this decision in a mentally weak state, out of loneliness in the new country and I always wonder if I did. No, my parents do not present themselves as perfect. And yes, I have been trying to take them off the pedestal but it is a really tough thing to do. When I am deciding on marriage, it is impossible for me not to get their validation. And in fact, I believe a marriage is not just about wife and husband but also about both families. I also keep thinking, if I marry my boyfriend, how compatible are our families? My parents are getting older as well and they need company, we don’t have close ties with relatives and I want the family I marry into to bond well with mine. – Is it too much to ask?

And coming to talking to him about helping me out in social situations, I will think and find a practical way that I can ask him. Thank you for showing me a direction and I will keep you updated.