Hi Tania

Quite a lot of people do not know what to say or how to comfort anyone who is grieving and therefore keep their distance from that person.  Also the main person in your life (husband) has reservations about this friendship. So you would have a double whammy.

I am guessing that Dona is missing you and is hurting from losing not only her husband but her childhood best friend, hence the defensive attack on you in cyberspace.

Does Dona have children, if not she may not appreciate the time & effort it takes to look after  a young child?  also she was like a sister to you and then may long for a role as surrogate aunty.  We all are complex creatures  who need love & understanding.