Hello Anita,

Sorry for the delay, I am feeling better now. I will leave my boyfriend’s place tomorrow – we had a great time together! I have been thinking about what you said and it is very true.

” I think that when she told you that he is not good enough for you, she delivered the almost certain kiss of death to the relationship.” – this thought occurred to me before and it does not shock me. From the moment my mom said he might not be good enough for me, I have been overanalyzing and overthinking about my relationship and my boyfriend which did not help the relationship in any positive way. You are right, I have to explore the relationship with my mother with the help of a psychotherapist to get better clarity and I am on it now. I have been trying to find a good therapist and it’s taking a while. If you have any recommendations, I would be happy to hear from you. My sincere thank you again for taking the time and effort to point this out and help me out through my journey! It really means a lot and you will be in my thoughts and prayers. I wish more strength to you to go through your healing journey that in turn inspires people like me 🙂

Apart from that, I want to update that I had a great time with my boyfriend, he is a wonderful and genuine person who cares for me and loves me. Our relationship has grown so much over the past one year, it took us so much work to be where we are today, at a better and happy place with better understanding of each other. Both of us have decided that we need to work on ourselves and build more self-confidence which will ultimately reflect in all the areas of our life including our relationship.

But the feeling of missing the attraction and spark is still there. My mind says everything is going well but my heart keeps saying something is missing – my heart doesn’t say yes! At the same time, when I am with my boyfriend, I feel my social life and spiritual life are not thriving and it bothers me. Like I mentioned before, I keep getting thoughts like “Am I settling for something less?”, “maybe I can get someone with better compatibility”, “am I going to regret this decision”, “i don’t feel inspired enough around him”. The thoughts have definitely decreased this time but still come to me from time to time.

But I will start with working on and trying to heal my relationship with my mother – thank you for your insights!