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Dear Kshiti:
“I am not able to get why I am imagining myself in such depressing scenarios now?… I sometimes feel as if ruminating itself is a self destructive activity which I partake and maybe one of the reasons I imagine giving up on my own wellbeing is a lack of self compassion. Please guide.“-
– I just re-read our previous communication and we never talked about your living situation. I wonder if you are living with your parents, and I wonder as to the nature of your relationship with them past and present. I wonder, because learned helplessness often takes place in childhood because of parents/ caregivers not being there for the child, emotionally or physically.
When parents do not regularly/ repeatedly express compassion for the child, the child does not practice self-compassion, doesn’t know how, doesn’t feel deserving of it.
I also wonder about your spine disease while growing up, if debilitating, it in itself is enough to cause learned helplessness in a child, even with supportive parents.
Please share about these topics only if you feel comfortable doing so, and to the extent that you do.
anita