Dear Tee,

Thank you for your wishes!

I’m really glad that you’re feeling better 💖

It is unbelievable how our mind & body are connected together & impact our well-being & future life.

Some of those deep corners of our souls seem to have a way to reveal themselves after all this time. I can see after years how this important aspect was overlooked in my family & I imagine that it must have felt similar in yours.

If I was sad, I had to get over it & stop being so sensitive about it. My only coping mechanism was to shut down & find solace in my solitude.

Tee, my biggest life changing regret is that I did not manage to get married early, have family on my own, and trust my emotions to someone other than my biological family. I stayed for too long. I felt frozen. I felt that there was no way out & that there is nothing better out there in this scarry world. And fear was my only companion.

The same old fear comes back to me when I think that I ruined my chances with the man I’ve met at the church outing. I had no courage to ask if he is interested & wants to go out again and he found someone else shortly after meeting with me. I’m not good at recognising a good chance or a good man and then it’s too late. He is now with the friend of his sister (she works with her). Well, maybe he knew her before as he was visiting his sister quite often or maybe he would choose her anyway? It’s not easy as I don’t have all the answers…

Somehow I still keep thinking of what did go wrong and if not contacting him first, contributed to his decision?

Yes, Tee, most of my relatives passed away, and unfortunately, there is no one now to really listen.

This holiday felt quite lonely. I’m still taking care of my elderly and feel guilty leaving them. Talking to my mother seems pointless at this stage. It always ends up in some kind of argument and pointing all my past mistakes. I also realised that she feels quite comfortable with my current situation.

So it looks like I am on a good path to healing, I am aware and I know that I need to work on my self worth more. But at the same time I feel stuck again and can’t find an exit.

Tee, you are a wonderful, wise and selfless woman that touched me with such a beautiful understanding, compassion and warmth and I thank you for all of this 🙏

Hope to hear from you soon. Please take care of yourself and have a great day!

Warm regards 🌼

Dafne