* Dear Tommy:

If an OP was in your living room, in your private space/ your home, talking and talking, and you don’t want to hear it,  then I’d understand your frustration and valid need to have quiet in your own home. But this is a public forum: you don’t have to enter any thread, read the writings of any member and/ or reply to anyone.

Look at the title of this thread: “The wounds are fresh and raw“. Your words (“OMG, time out. You must stop going over and over this… NOW IS THE TIME TO MOVE ON..”), what do these words do to fresh and raw wounds?

You wrote in your 2nd post: “If you feed them what they want to hear then they will go down with the ship. Kinder way to do this? Do you peel the bandage off slowly to feel every little movement as pain? Which is really more kind? Yeah, this is the last time I post here. I can not help those who chose to live in sorrow and depression.”-

– a little temper tantrum right above, Tommy? I would like to read more from you, in your own thread, if you’d like to start one, about your childhood life experience that’s behind this temper tantrum. Did the people in your early life figuratively peel off the bandages too slowly, or too quickly.. and what wounds are there under the bandages…?

Tommy, I was harsh on people too, from time to time, but I corrected myself, and so can you. I hope to read from you again!

I will close this post with a few quotes that are helping me become a better/ wiser person, in these forums and elsewhere:

“Never reply when you are angry. Never make a promise when you are happy. Never make a decision when you are sad” (A Buddhist quote)

“The Buddha taught there were five things to consider before speaking. Is what you’re about to say: 1. Factual and true 2. Helpful, or beneficial 3. Spoken with kindness and good-will (that is, hoping for the best for all involved) 4. Endearing (that is, spoken gently, in a way the other person can hear) 5. Timely (occasionally something true, helpful, and kind will not be endearing, or easy for someone to hear, in which case we think carefully about when to say it)” (bright way zen. org/ the buddha’s five things to consider before speaking)

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” (Ephesians 4:29)

“By your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned’. (Matthew 12:37).

anita