Dear Seaturtle:

Yes, you told me about P. Your roommate expressed to you that she prefers to spend time with you without P. If I was you, I would kindly (find a way) dis-invite P so that you can spend a pleasant woo-hoo birthday weekend with your roommate.

You can still talk with P about things, just not in a context where you are committed to be with her for an extended period of time, as in overnight/ whole weekend.

So, in this case of ruminating, if you commit to these situational solutions (1- disinviting her, 2- talking with her in a limited time and place context), there is no purpose to continue thinking on the topic, is there?

anita