Dear Seaturtle:

“I want to be a good friend, I want that to be a part of who seaturtle is… I need to learn when I need to let go of someone/something, but recently I gave up someone (you know who). And now I think I don’t want to do it again unless it is so so necessary”–

– I didn’t suggest that you let go of and give up on P. My point is, restated, that if you want a positive, relaxing birthday weekend in Palm Springs, then having a person who is, (your words),  “so negative“, who “talks just so much, doesn’t allow a moment of silence… cuts me off… doesn’t listen when I talk…just waits to talk“, is not congruent with having a positive, relaxing weekend, not for you, and not for your roommate- friend.

It is your birthday weekend to spend as you choose. Maybe having P will turn out to be a surprising delight. I don’t know.

I read your recent posts about your boredom and restlessness, and what occurred to me is that you need the most- seems to me-  a  why, as in what Vicktor Frankl wrote in his book, Man’s Search for Meaning: “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’“, a why, a meaning, a “dedication to a cause greater than oneself”.

Your grandmother Oma was born in 1942 in a bunker in Germany. Viktor Frankl, born in Austria, was 37 when your grandmother was born. Based on his experience in Auschwitz as a psychiatrist, he wrote Man’s Search for Meaning and founded logotherapy which is based on the premise that the primary motivational force of an individual is to find a meaning in life.

anita