Dear Anita,

These days I’ve felt so foggy I didn’t manage to sit down and write anything… A few days ago I talked to my parents and I told them I don’t feel that good here and I’m considering going back to Warsaw. As expected they were not supportive at all and they kept telling me over and over that I should stay here because there are more and better opportunities for me here – reminding me how I used to complain about living in Warsaw ( with my girlfriends mother, the flat, the weather, etc. ). The days that followed I kept thinking and rethinking.. not really being able to fully decide anything. Since I bought that ticket 2 weeks ago I keep feeling like this… Before I bought it I felt like I wanted to go to Warsaw.

My girlfriend will be here in 2 days.. and after a week of being here together we are supposed to go to Warsaw together. I told the school and the landlord I’m leaving already. But still, I don’t feel like I fully decided. Maybe I’ve been thinking about this for too long… I’ve been really stressed about these things and I feel like I need a break from this subject.. I feel like I need to focus on something else.

Also… if I go to Warsaw, for a while I would have to live with her mother… and that doesn’t feel great.. also knowing she’s not very comfortable I’ll be back there – she felt quite offended by my behaviour ( not liking it there and knowing she was the reason ). I don’t really have another option at the moment. Whenever I manage to have an income there we’ll try to find a better solution.

What a mess all this is… 🙁 I’m so damn tired these days…

I hope you are doing fine and having a good day 🙂

Robi