I appreciate the difficulties with consistency with ADHD. You could plan to be inconsistent. Maybe you could reflect when you get home from work or any time you choose, you could even set an alarm to remind you. What would help me feel better right now? You have read lots of ideas in self-help books. Take a moment to try something. Note if it works, if it makes you feel a little better or a lot better, or if it doesn’t work. It doesn’t have to be the same thing every time.

I wonder if you are in physical pain? Being a chef is a hard job, I know people in their 20s trying to get out of it. Its impressive that you’re doing it in your 50s. I would imagine that it is starting to be uncomfortable. I’m sure that you could keep going for a while. But as you get older it will get worse. Have you thought about what you want to do for work in the future? It would be good to start planning something for your future that is sustainable and doesn’t leave you in a lot of pain.

I think that we have all had dreams of running away to a monastery. I think that is why holidays are appealing. You leave all of your problems behind at home temporarily. I don’t think that running away to a monastery would necessarily be helpful. Just putting off problems until later.

Another difficulty is facing the world as a man. Men do not get a lot of support. I think that it’s amazing that you’re learning all you can about how to manage your difficulties. That you’ve had counselling and that you are reaching out to people here. You deserve support! Please feel free to discuss anything you choose.

Another thing that I thought of as a barber is that you helped many people to change their lives. People get haircuts for job interviews all of the time and people are judged on their appearance in the first 30 seconds.

Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏