Hi Tommy

I managed to find blue stuff online! Thanks for your help.

I’m glad that your friend’s relationship improved after having children. I think it is a make or break kind of situation. It can either end the relationship or bring people closer together. I feel fortunate to fall into the latter. I’m not going to lie, it was a hard pregnancy and difficult on the relationship having a newborn at first. But we worked through it and communicated a lot. Perhaps more so than ever before. I think my husband was surprised that I forgave him for some things that were said. And surprised that I took ownership of my own behaviour. And it was good to put our egos aside for something more important than ourselves.

I think that men and women have different experiences and are raised to act and think in specific ways. I appreciate the male perspective even if it doesn’t make sense initially. It is a chance to learn more about someone else’s experience. And every experience adds to the whole which forms the truth. To deny the truth is an exercise in futility.

It is not so nice to be called crazy. To be fair, being crazy is not always a bad thing. My husband is crazy and it is something that I have always loved about him. He is crazy kind to the point where he doesn’t think about his own needs or even try to protect himself.

I think that you might fall into this good kind of crazy category. You certainly do seem crazy kind to me! Perhaps your wife is exercerbated by it sometimes and loves that about you at other times? I think it is a good thing to be married to someone who is different from ourselves. I feel like we all learn from each other.

Bless your soul! That tells me you are a busy man  who enjoys to rest. I think that you deserve to rest. I know that I am guilty of asking my husband to do things too. There is a never-ending to do list that only grows.

I totally agree about learning from life. The lessons aren’t always easy and don’t always come immediately, but they always do in the end.

Nothing about you says awful person to me. I’m afraid that I can’t agree with you there 😊 It is hard to stop blaming oneself. Something that I am working on too. I don’t have any answers. I suspect that it is both a good thing and a bad thing. Well done on working on that and trying to find a balance.

I have been thinking about the cycle of life too. When I was a child it seemed to me that time moved so slowly. I barely had the patience to sit for 5 minutes. Now, raising my son the time passes so quickly. I suspect the years will pass in the blink of an eye. It was my birthday recently and I compared my age to my son’s and I realized that we are not alive for long at all. It would be impossible to attain buddhahood in only one lifetime! It also occurred to me how quickly the world changes.

I don’t know if all will be lost. Some people look to leaving a legacy behind. But I believe that we already have one. We all rub off on each other, passing along beliefs, ideas, emotions, memories and even personality traits. Perhaps the scary thing is losing our sense of self?

Looking at my son, my husband sees ourselves, his sister, brother and his deceased father in him. Looking at me he says good lord he married his brother. 😂

Long after we have passed there will be pieces of us passed down. Memories of love, skills taught. It is easy to not notice what you have given to the world and hard to recognize it.

Dementia is a difficult disease. You are a brave man to face that after seeing it. My husband also has it in his family. He asked me if I would leave him if it happened like with his father. I hope that neither of you get it because you are good people who do not deserve to suffer like that. Perhaps a foolish hope, but the world has a habit of surprising us. It is just as likely perhaps that something unexpected might happen?

Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏