Dear Flow28

I am sorry that your first intimate encounter turned out not to be in a fully committed relationship.

Does the country you both live in and or his religion prohibit gay relationships?

Nobody likes being given ultimatums especially so early on in a relationships.  Yes you can voice your fears regarding alcohol and the possible promiscuous behavior. My son and his friends had a similar tradition for many years, yes there was some drinking, these trips petered out once they had dispersed to different locations, now my son is happily married and with children, but he still gets to visit his best friend for a week end each year with his wife’s blessing and she too is able to have girlie downtime.

It is strange that he did not think that the relationship was not deep enough to commit to official bf/gf status either before or after sexual activity.  He may be the type of personality that likes the chase, but is not really interested in the act of conquest itself.

Please do not become bitter or untrusting because of this short lived encounter.  Value & love yourself so that when the right seeds for a relationship are sow it will be a happy & supportive.