Dear Flow28:

“He was texting me a lot, calling, setting up dates etc. He said he’d never felt so good with anyone before. He mentioned us being in a relationship in the future“- he was already in a relationship with you when he said that there may be a relationship in the future.

“He said ‘for us to blah blah (I don’t remember at this point) we’d have to be in a relationship’ and then he added ‘but when we get into one in the future, we will (…)’“- indirectly, he made a promise to you: that there will be a relationship in the future (while there was one in the present).

“He added he wouldn’t cheat on me & that he uninstalled the app.”- according to his words, he was in an exclusive relationship with you.

“I said someone who loves his gf would take her with him… He was like ‘you’re not my gf’, ‘we’re not together yet, we’re still seeing each other…’“- the image of a man (after a swim) sitting by the pool with one foot in the water, comes to mind, saying: I am not in the pool yet.

“he said we were seeing each other once a week or even less, which is completely untrue (it was 2-3 times per week). He said we weren’t texting regularly but we were“- continuing the image above, you tell the man sitting by the pool: what do you mean you are not in the pool yet, you were in it 10 minutes ago, that’s why you are still wet! And he says: no I wasn’t! Or,  I almost wasn’t.

“He said he felt uncomfortable with me treating it as if we’re a bf & gf bc ‘it’s not at that level of closeness’ & that he didn’t like such control. He has told me he hasn’t asked me to be official because I didn’t trust him“-

– the clue to his behavior may be in the words control and trust: maybe he doesn’t trust women and fears being controlled by a woman, so he, figuratively, only dips his foot in the water, or if he takes a swim, he quickly exits the pool and denies he was in it.

“During our early dates he would make sexual innuendos and jokes & he complimented my looks. He talked about his sexual preferences… he wasn’t really affectionate… he said he had been with many girls but didn’t sleep with anyone before me“- it is possible that he lied when he told you that he didn’t sleep with anyone before you, and that he lied about other things as well, and like most or all people who lie, some of what he said was true, overall producing a mix of truths and lies. It is also possible that he has a very low sexual drive.

What do you think?

anita