Dear Debs123:

You are welcome. “His lies are intentional and hurtful… he was unkind at times also, making jokes at my expense, saying mean things in the heat of the moment… he’d yell“, but he also made you feel special: “He had a way of making me feel special, that I was important“.

For a person who regularly feels, or has felt growing up, not special, not important, to get to feel special and important is intoxicating, like a dream come true.

“I can’t wrap my head around him rejecting me again and again, after promising me so much. A life together“- you felt that he promised you a lifetime of being special and important to him, as in.. heaven on earth (I might be exaggerating here, maybe not)?

“And why can’t I let it go?“- let him go, or let go of what he may have represented for you, if he did: a promise of a lifetime of being special and important?

Is it that for that promise you were willing to ignore his lies,  occasional meanness, etc.?

anita