Hi Clara

It is good to hear that your uncle seeing you was an accident. An entirely different situation, but still embarrassing and stressful. Especially when you desperately craved privacy. Perhaps you felt like something like that could happen at any time?

I think as much as you have been hurt by what has happened, so has she. That is why she requested the space. She is hurting. You mentioned that she could barely look at you when you last saw each other.

You mentioned that you overreact sometimes. Perhaps she doesn’t want you to overreact to the situation and her pain. You cannot help how you feel, just as much as she cannot help how she feels. The situation spiralled out of control between you two with an overwhelming level of negativity.

It is hard to comfort someone when you are hurt by them. And there might be a lack of trust that things will be positive. She is taking the time to take care of herself and think things through like she said. It is hard for some people to go from 0 to 100. Things not being good to being affectionate.

I think that because your partner has been taking the time to decide what she wants. It means that she cares. She doesn’t want to make a mistake or hurt you. The whole process has been very stressful on you. But she would have kicked bricks and left immediately if she was sure about how she felt. Perhaps she also feels swayed by what you want because she cares. It might be hard for her to figure out what she wants with you wanting reassurance.

Of course, these are just guesses. Perhaps she is also just busy?

It seems to me like you struggle to understand how your partner feels sometimes. Potentially, because you are focused on your own things. Partially, it seems like she withholds some. Then there is the pain on top of that.

It is difficult when both of your needs conflict. She needs to have space and you need reassurance. She has tried her best. As best as she can while respecting her own needs.

Learning to reassure yourself can be beneficial. I would imagine it is difficult in this case to imagine how she feels because of your own fears and also the idea might be painful because of the painful situation between you.

Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏