Hello Helcat and Anita,

Thanks. I am looking at the signs of emotional abuse. Some of which  may have happened before. but there are quite a number of sign, they do seem complicated. There are some which some seem to be things that happen when couples are in argument? ( or may be we have normalized it? i don’t know). It’s complicated to dissect, especially I am in the middle of it.

She did get in touch with her other ex-es, I don’t have problem with that. It was only the first year with her immediate ex. They have been on and off for a couple of times, and from what I knew whenever her ex reached out to her, she would get back together . Them being in contact made me really uncomfortable given the history. Especially we got together around 2 months after they broke up. It can be my insecurity, I was afraid I was  just a rebound for her.

You made good reminder that I should be handling my own emotions and issues.

I think, it’s good that you pointed that out, that my anger may lead to blaming her or other things. I stopped and pondered this for a while, it was not a perspective that I was aware, that I might have abused her. Abusive or not, I think this pattern worth looking into.