Hello all

Thanks for the recommendations, it’s lovely to read that my question has resulted in some insights to you also.

I travelled for the whole day yesterday and today, finally back to the hotel for some rest.

All of the quotes sound relevant now my problem is which book to start first.

During my flight yesterday i was thinking how to practice what I have learned.

I scribbled with the following questions/ flow on what to do, when emotions arise; or simply, what I need to practice remember each day. Feel free to take a look and give me your comments.

Anita, thanks for sharing your story also, it must have been hard for you also. It is indeed hard for me  to take but I am trying  my best to digest the new information. I don’t want to make the people who genuinely care about me upset for no reason / reasons because of my history or lack of management of my own emotions. This is the why I try to read and re-read what you wrote.

I plan to read this to myself may be everyday/ whenever needed

My scribble below:

practise emotion regulation

my emotion is my responsibility
– [ ] investigate if the feeling matches with the reality
– [ ] is the fear legit?
– [ ] is the fear turned anger legit
– [ ] is the leashing out legit
– [ ] is the hurt legit
if not legit, practise
– meditation(letting go/ emotion regulation)
– exercise
– distract yourself
– breath deeply
– stop and be quiet. think of priorty: you want to win this? or win your life back?
– release emotions appropriately if needed. do no engage in the negative blaming cycle.

even if they are legit, can you stop clinging onto them? and use compassion and forgiveness, practise
– meditation(loving kindness/ frustration)
– exercise
– distract yourself
– breath deeply
– stop and be quiet. think of priorty: you want to win this? or win your life back?
– release emotions appropriately if needed. do no engage in the negative blaming cycle.

emotions flow and use your body to redirect and channel them

practise trust
– [ ] trust her with what she says

– [ ]Do not mistrust when there is no evidence(Reference to ‘practice emotion regulation)
– [ ] trust that she meant good
– [ ] trust yourself, people around you love you and they do not betray or hurt you randomly

heal your inner child
– [ ] the fearful and hurt child may sometime go wild, gives her lots of love and reassurance: humans are not necessarily a source of danger
– [ ] be kind, and loving to her
– [ ] practice meditation

set boundaries
– [ ] make sure people do not handle your emotions
– [ ] make sure to secure your own boundaries, and do not get affected by your emotions when they want to overwhelm you
– [ ] say no to malfunction( eg not true yto reality) emotions, let them go, do not cling