Dear Roberta –

Thank you for sharing your experience. I am encouraged by your words and am genuinely happy for you.

As it happens, I did have the “discussion” with my wife before she died, because of the uncertainty of COVID. I had told her that she could have a new partner, but she did not indicate her feelings to me one way or another.

Your description of longing sounds very wise. I would say that I am fine most of the time, and that bouts of longing for another still come, but I am learning how to endure the moment until it passes. I, too, am trying to track my feelings over time. I haven’t been on a date for over four months now, and I feel like I am finally allowing myself to grow into a single life – one that has powerful episodes of fulfillment, despite the cold fact that I do miss my wife.

Wishing you all the best, with gratitude –

omyk