Dear t:

You are welcome! “Growing up my mother never communicated but expected me to read her mind and anticipate her moods and needs. If I didn’t do this, she would blow up and yell, throw things, etc. As a result I have a tendency to mind read others and try to keep them happy, and I assume a lot from little things“- it is as if I am reading about my mother and myself, same thing. What a coincidence.

“My boyfriend… is a very different person from my mother and would never become angry like that, but his behavior has similarities that put me on edge… he’s made a genuine effort to understand me and work on changing his behavior. He did promise to text back faster…“- it will take a combination of him being considerate of what puts you on edge and you healing from your childhood experience with your mother. Without dedication to healing on your part, no matter how hard he tries and for how long, it will not be enough.

“Emotional regulation is what I’m really struggling with… I am trying the normal things to calm down – taking walks, exercising, distraction, meditating, spending time with friends – which have helped a little but often just result in me crying in public.“- did you ever attend therapy? If so, what was the experience like?

anita