Dear t:

You are welcome!  “He told me he would tell me if he ever truly didn’t want sex. These types of distinctions seem very important to him… ‘It wasn’t that I didn’t want to go to your plans, it was that I was tired and didn’t feel like doing the planned activity. I would tell you if I actually didn’t want to do something.’) I am trying to understand his perspective but really struggling“- reads to me like his emotions are repressed or suppressed (pushed down), and he has trouble understanding what it is that he is feeling, that he is aware when he definitely doesn’t want to do something, but he is unsure if and when he does want to do something.

“He explained that he didn’t understand why I wanted him to be honest instead of giving an excuse“-  I am guessing that dissociated, he doesn’t know what he is feeling much of the time. Therefore,  emotional honesty is not possible for him much of the time.