Dear Taiga

I am sorry that you & your wife have not been able to enjoy physical intimacy at all.  Some people are brought up by their parents & or their religion to belief that it is dirty, sinful. to be endured & definitely not for pleasure and that masturbation is a definite no no.  She may also have been told that it is painful & then may have a deep seated fear.

Can I ask does your wife use tampons when she is having a period?

Do you kiss & cuddle? are you naked around each other? Would she consider co masturbation and or oral sex?

Does she have a female friend that she can confide in?

Without knowing the root of her reluctance it will be hard to resolve this issue  and if she does not feel it is an issue…

…then you may have to look elsewhere for either a fulfilling relationship (getting divorce/anulment) or staying in this marriage but seek consensual relief with a third party this should be done openly & honestly with all concerned.

Roberta