Hi Sandy

I don’t believe that shared religion is important to marriage. I think that respecting each other’s choices is important. My husband is Buddhist and I am not religious, but I was brought up Christian. My husband’s father was Muslim whilst his mother is Christian.

I think that compromise works both ways. It involves both parties listening and meeting in the middle. You don’t seem to want compromise currently. You just want things the way that you want them.

Perhaps the reason your partner is scared about the relationship is because she can see that you don’t want the same things as her. She is just reaching for her reasons for why she is afraid and dealing with it in a weird way.

A compromise might look like you having your own passwords but being willing to show her your phone when she asks. Another compromise might be your partner coming with you on trips. Another compromise might be living near your partner’s family or perhaps moving home and all living together in a different area. This is what compromise looks like.

There are times when it is not possible to compromise and someone makes the choice to sacrifice something. The key is to take turns doing this. Sacrifices over time should be shared.

If you want to end the relationship that is your decision. Compatibility is important, but so is understanding that if you pick and choose certain things, undoubtedly there will always be problems. You make decisions for what problems you can allow and which ones you don’t. If the goal is for no problems, that is a recipe for being alone.

Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏