Dear Jasmine:

I just finished reading through our 24-page communication on your other thread. A short walk on memory lane:

On March 16-17, 2021, I wrote to you: “As a kid, you had hope for the future, the future held promise, didn’t it? For a child, there is a promise in the air, a promise in the way the sun hits the green grass, or the frost on the ground- that life can be and will be wonderful soon enough. There is an energy in a child, a curiosity, a hope that is hard to extinguish…

“When we are depressed, the feeling-alive, hopeful and curious- these feelings are still in us, masked and muted. Sometimes these feelings come to life just a bit, and we take some action for a better life (ex., exercise so to lose weight and get fit, study for a GED so to get a better job), but these feelings get muted too soon and we find ourselves depressed yet again,  abandoning our efforts to make our lives better. It is very difficult to change this emotional dynamic of short part- awakenings and long-term depression, but it is possible. If you want to, we can think together about how to make this change happen“- I wonder what you think about the above, 3 years and 5 months after I wrote it..?

On Aug 6, 2022, I wrote to you: “Your own success story is your current daily motivation- this is much better than someone else’s success story being your motivation: you succeeded one way=>  you can succeed in another way=> .. and in yet another way, one day at a time, patiently“.

Aug 9: “You are amazing, Emily“.

You wrote on Sept 5, 2022: “One day I’m gonna have a success story to tell because despite of all the pain I endured I’m still improving myself“, and I responded with: “you already have a success story to tell, an ongoing- continuing story. Thank you for telling it!”

You wrote on that day: “My pain makes my success story unique because sometimes I didn’t know how I was going to survive but I always do“, and I responded with: “this sentence should be framed and hung on the wall.. on many walls in many places- for people to read and be inspired by“.

On Oct 5, 2022 you asked me: “why do you think I’m amazing?“, and I answered: “because even though you have had a very difficult life from the very beginning, you are an intelligent, courageous, positive, responsible, resourceful, gracious and honest woman: no ‘poor me’ mentality, no guilt-tripping anyone, no passive-aggressive expressions… and this is very rare! You suffered many misfortunes and lost a lot in life… (yet) You always looked for a higher paying job and a better life for you and for your second child: you bought fitness equipment, read motivational books… You persisted with studying and passing the various tests and in July 27, 2022 (I believe), you earned your GED!“.

On Oct 10, 2023, you deleted your account, and posted for the last time, on that day (following my inquiry): “Dear Anita, I should have mentioned to you that I was taking a break from venting . I still don’t have answers to all my problems. I have made progress but I’m still not where I want to be . Maybe I’ll start a thread…“.

And indeed, you started a new thread ten months and 4 days later, on Aug 14, 2024: “I currently cook at a high school… I’ve had so many jobs, within the last couple of years… I think one of the most meaningful jobs I ever had was my Nursing Assistant Job at age 18.. Long Term Care facilities work schedule don’t work with school hours, but I can afford my bills and there is room for growth“- You had different jobs: a Certified Nursing Assistant, a Cashier, a Security Officer, a Preschool teacher/ assistant, a bus driver, a delivery driver. And the most meaningful job for you was a Certified Nurse Assistant. I hope that you can make it happen, Jasmine! What are the steps to make it happen?

anita