Hi Anita

I can’t take credit for those attachments needs. I found it on a website called welldoing dot org. I thought the writer was excellent. Her name is Julie Menanno. I’m reading her book now Secure Love because her article Insecure Attachment in Couples: How to mend negative communication cycles was so good.

I can imagine. We have both been through some very similar things. It’s crazy how two people (our mothers) can be so alike on different sides of the world from different cultures. It is a shame that we had those experiences. No child deserves that.

You are right, thank you. If I can forgive my mother I can forgive my husband. He genuinely deserves it and is an amazing person. I’m very tired and I need to pace myself with the exercises in that book. Bringing up my trauma hurts a lot. But in a way it is helpful to be more aware of the different ways my past bleeds into the present day. I hope that it can help to unpick,  the past from the present and make the present less painful, so the past can stay in the past.

I think my takeaway from the difficulties we have had is that tiredness and stress can make people act out of character. Sleep deprivation really is a form of torture.

I managed to control my feelings and talk to my husband from a place of vulnerability, it went well.

Love and best wishes! ❤️🙏