Dear StrormMako:

I am glad that you finally talked to your boyfriend and that he made more of an effort to talk to you yesterday. I hope that your boyfriend will not be regularly traveling for work.

How are you feeling today?

“My boyfriend is traveling & I had surgery. I feel abandoned… I know he is so overwhelmed yet I feel so abandoned… I don’t have a very trustful or emotional connection with my mom, so he is so important to me“- I think that earlier in your life, you lost trust in your mother (to whom you were very much emotionally attached) because in some meaningful way, or ways, she abandoned you and betrayed your trust.

Fast forward, in your vulnerable state post-surgery, your boyfriend (to whom you are very emotionally attached) travels for work, and your past painful abandonment experience awakened in the present time.

“He’s my world… I miss him so much…  Am I playing the victim too much in my head here?… I feel guilty that I expected more from him when he is obviously very overwhelmed… I still feel guilty for feeling abandoned… Anxiety really does blur the whole picture“- (1) I think that much of your anxiety is about the awakened abandonment experience, (2) that feelings of guilt from your childhood also awakened, (3) perhaps your mother portrayed herself as a victim, and you don’t want to be like her in context of your relationship with your boyfriend..?

anita