Hello Anita

What a coincidence that you were thinking to leave a message for me. thanks for checking on me. how has life been treating you?

I guess it was too rush for her to think through and to give me my stuff, i honestly dont know why she couldnt do it in one go.

for the things that are still left in my flat, i believe she really missed that part. having said that, her pillow was left behind on my bed, and i just needed to put it aside. but i guess this is coherent to how she has been, she didnt think through the breakup seriously and things just seem sloppy.

this sloppiness has inevitably sparkled some feelings inside me. and there were times i found mysef checking her on social media, and affected by any updates. there were times i found myself checking whether she read my stories in instagram etc. I am constantly finding myself trying to move on, and wanting to connect with her.

the day she returned her keys to me, she left me a message. and it sounded cold to me. but afterall, what do i expect? she blantely told me she had no feelings for me. I felt a fool as i mailed her the bday gift i prepared for her, months ago, before any of these happened. I was thinking to throw it away or use it myself or give it to someone else. but since this was meant to me for her, i mailed it anyways.

i know there is no other way than to not contacting or stalking her, contacting doesnt help anyway, this will only create resentment( may be eventually from both sides). but there is some anger and frustration inside me , thay cannot be elimiated because of how she handled this, there are times when i really wanted to call and scold, or to contact simply.

the first two weeks were ok for me, but as the third week approached in the beginning of this week, i felt i missed her a lot and really wanted to reconnect, possibly because i knew she was back from her business trip and is back.

i guess its a phase but sometime i do struggle

thanks for listening