Dear Meg:

“For most of my life I’ve kept my mouth shut when people hurt me“- same here, except that much of the time, although I was hurting, I couldn’t tell if someone was hurting me, or if I was hurt because something was terribly wrong with me.

“no matter the way I word it, I get told that the way I express my hurt is too much and comes off mean“- I wish I could see/ hear you in such a circumstance and figure for myself if you sound mean (very angry, punishing).. or just hurt.

“me constantly feeling angry or mad about his words. They spin on repeat and I either sob or get really angry or both“- how can anyone not get really angry hearing one’s SO gossip about them, revealing medical secrets etc.?

“in the heat of arguments“- what do you say and do when really angry, in the heat of arguments?

anita