Dear Meg:

“It feels like groundhogs day.. be quiet, get upset, wait to talk, when I do bring it up it starts an argument and my reaction is always the problem, never the actual problem…. Today, right now, I am ok. I’m getting my work done and feel ok. But man, when it comes on it derails me!“- best would be for the two of you to live apart. Is there no way at all to make it happen?

To cut the habitual groundhogs-day-chain, I suggest that you no longer wait to talk to him, and that you don’t talk to him anymore. No taking= no argument= no reaction on your part for him to falsely blame as the problem. (It will be difficult to break the habit though).

anita