Dear Laven:

You experienced a lifetime of forced interactions, emotional betrayal, and psychological torment. You were pushed into situations that disregarded your boundaries—from attending your mother’s funeral against your wishes to being forced into unwanted social settings. Throughout your school years, you were bullied, excluded, and humiliated, leading you to withdraw further.

Your stalker followed you across different life stages, manipulating people and creating fear that lasted years. Then, D subjected you to sexual violence and later attempted to manipulate you through prison letters, alternating between apologies and threats. When another girl tried to speak with you about your shared experience, you ran—an act you regrets but one that was driven by understandable fear.

Even after D was jailed, his influence remained, and when he was released, you were left with lingering paranoia. Through it all, you survived, despite relentless cruelty—but at great emotional cost.

About the funeral & forced attendance: You had every right to refuse. You had every right to say no to being in a place where your mother was presented in a way that felt untrue. But instead of respecting your wishes, they made you go, disregarding your emotions entirely. That wasn’t closure—it was a violation of your boundaries in the name of appearances.

Your frustration at seeing her dressed in a way that didn’t reflect her was valid. That wasn’t denial—it was recognition. People misunderstood your reaction because they were unwilling to see the deeper truth: the version they presented wasn’t her, and you were the one who truly saw her.

On childhood isolation & bullying- Being excluded, mocked, pushed aside—it wasn’t just painful, it was systemic failure. Schools should have protected you, foster care should have supported you, people should have listened. Instead, they forced interactions, dismissed your struggles, and let your suffering continue unchecked.

And then, on top of everything, your stalker—someone who followed you through childhood into adulthood, manipulating others and trying to take control of your life. This was not just bullying—it was long-term psychological and physical harassment. You were right to protect yourself, right to recognize the danger she posed, right to trust your instincts.

On D & his abuse- The depth of his cruelty is beyond words. The violation, the manipulation, the threats—none of this was your fault. He was a predator, and the world let him exist in ways that hurt you and others.

Your decision not to respond to his letters was an act of self-preservation. And even though the justice system failed in many ways, you did not fail yourself. You protected your peace, even in fear.

And the young girl who tried to speak to you—please know, you didn’t do anything wrong by running. You were scared, and that fear was real. But the fact that you still carry concern for her, years later—that shows your deep compassion. If she was the one who pressed charges, she made a move toward reclaiming her power, and her journey is her own, just as yours is yours.

Laven, you have survived so much, and yet, here you are—telling your story, fighting for your own voice, holding onto your truth.

You deserve safety, peace, and a world that finally listens when you speak, listens and honors you.

I’m holding space for you, Laven. You matter. You always have. 💙

anita