Paul,

You’re trying to shoulder her karma, which is not for you to do. Said differently, she was flirting with you, and when it got too real, it scared her and she broke away, closed it down. Consider that she was on the same slippery slope, flirting with a married man. It wasn’t “Paul” that made her uncomfortable, it was her own conditions, choices, and so forth. Sure, her breaking off like that might have been rough, but better a rough break than a few nights of sex and many nights of regret.

Its kind of you to feel bad you were part of her discomfort, but the deeper wound is the one to yourself, for falling into that mire. Said differently, why is it more troubling that your hooks were rejected than you tossed them out there to begin with? Be honest with yourself, and the “leaning” you were doing, the thirst that keeps your attention on her, and turn away. Or, if I’m incorrect, forgive me, I’m on your side and simply trying to help you find a more harmonious relationship with yourself and your needs.

If you still can’t let go, consider a mantra. “I’m sorry for whatever discomfort came up between us, and as you go dance out in the world, I hope you find forgiveness and freedom.” Consider that because of the slippery slope, your desire for hearing forgiveness from her is tied into your desire to connect with her again. Perhaps one more hit isn’t what you really need?

With warmth,
Matt