It is so nice to hear all your stories and know that I can relate. It hits close to home for me as it is something I am currently struggling with. I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years. In the beginning, I was young and naive and went against my intuition. I saw the red flags and knew deep down that this was not the man for me. Now, I am 27, have essentially thrown away my twenties for this man, and and struggling with a relationship that is unfufilling to me. What makes it so difficult is the fact that he is a wonderful person who has the sweetest and kindest heart of anyone I have ever known. He loves me more than his own family, and he would never do anything to hurt me, I know this for fact. Yet here I am trying to figure out how to leave him without breaking his heart into pieces. I do think the reason that i have stayed this long is due to being comfortable, scared to change, and the dread of hurting him. He really is my best friend, he knows me and loves me like no one else. The problem is, we are just not right for each other. We want different things in life. He is now mid-thirties, living at home. He has no drive, no sense of purpose, no ambition. He doesn’t like change, he is not open minded, he is controlling and insecure. He wants different things than I want, and lately (like for the past couple of years) I find that I am simply not attracted to him anymore. I see him more as a dear friend or brother whom I love dearly with all of my heart… but not my romantic life partner. Despite all of this, I am still struggling to do what I feel in my heart is right.

I don’t know how to even begin. But the thought of staying another year makes me physically sick. I don’t want to hurt him, yet I know in the long run I am only hurting both of us by staying.

Praying for courage and wisdom, and seeking advice.