Emma,

I know your pain, when times were tough in my life, I too resorted to self-destructive behaviours like binge eating, drugs, etc.,
In my humble opinion, you must learn to love yourself first. Self-love is not looking in the mirror and comparing yourself to whatever archetype or ideal you have in mind. Self-love means you will do the things you enjoy, with the important people in your life by your side, and not be self-critical or worry too much about what others think. Make sure that your mental, emotional, and physical states are taken care of first, and then you will naturally take care of yourself. Remind yourself of those that love you for who you are, and add yourself to that list. Once you realize your true self, your body will respond in kind.

Always keep in mind that being uncomfortable with your body is normal, but being self-critical or worrying is in itself, suffering. Clear your mind and your space and think more about the person you are and not the person you want to be.

Good luck, you are loved.