Hey Lightsource

First of all, there is NOTHING wrong with YOU. You did what you did as you felt insecure and you needed love and stability. Hey, we all do such things in our lives. The most important thing now is that you learn from this experience and start putting in strategies so that you never have to doubt yourself again in the future.

Pls do not go back to this guy even if you think you love him. Things are meant to be easy and life is meant to flow. If it didn’t work out twice, it is not going to work out anymore as your subconscious mind will not allow you to find peace with this guy (you will somehow become insecure about him again even if you work on self). Ancient wisdom tells us that Human law or Universe may forgive a person once but the persons own subconscious mind never lets you get over an emotional trauma and the only way to make peace is to forget, forgive and move on from that incident. In this case it is your ex.

People do what they do as it feels right to them. Everyone is unique and different. While we all long for love and acceptance deep down, we express it in different ways depending on our environmental, social, genetic and spiritual conditioning. No one is ever wrong in a true sense. It is only a matter of personal perspective.

What can you do to make yourself feel proud of yourself:
– forget about your age; age means nothing anymore when it comes to finding your love or having kids in this world. Please do not become a victim of societal pressures. You can get married at the age of 70 as well. What matters is that you are kind to yourself and have a beautiful heart.
– work on self to improve your self-esteem. If you do not love yourself and respect yourself the most, everyone else will just come and walk all over you in some form or other. You will never achieve stability in your head even after having a family or kids. It is our mind, which is amazingly powerful and keeps us stuck in the rut if we do not take control of it.
– accept yourself the way you are and it will become effortless to accept everyone else as they are. Forgive yourself and it will become effortless to forgive others.
– accept that there is ONLY ONE of YOU in this world. There can never be another one of you ever, which means you are very special and valued member of this Universe. You have a purpose for being here. Pls look after yourself and smile heaps. Listen to soul soothing music, dance to your hearts content, cook for yourself, go out for a coffee date with yourself, go for a swim and catch the waves, exercise etc.
– write down all the lessons that you can learn from the last few years and this relationship and see which ones bring the most happiness into your life if you could incorporate those lessons. Every incident, relationship (good or bad), every person is here to teach us something or learn something from us. What did this guy teach you ? What can you take into the future ? What needs to be left behind forever ?
– continue your meditation and mindfulness practice pls
– pls pls pls pls pls let go and forgive this ex of yours. Let him go. When you do that, you will free yourself in a huge way and it will be a liberating experience. Grieve if need be but move forward sooner rather than later
– always remember, you are loved by YOU no matter what happens in this world. YOU will always be there for yourself. So why the self- doubt or any fear ?

Blessings and loads of positive energy coming your way,

Jasmine