Dear Jasmine,
Thank you for reading it. I am seeking therapy It doesn’t really help, I pretty much have to rewire my entire pattern of thinking . At this point I am exhausted. I know I came across quite blunt in my post but it was out of momentarily rush of thoughts and sheer pain . I will probably take it down. Took a lot of courage to pour it out on a forum like this . Be it out of anger .
Thank you for remembering me in your prayers though . I do read your post and everyone’s else and it helps to know that perhaps others can relate to me in this journey . I definitely do not want store resentment in my heart . It’s too heavy as it is . Perhaps in due time I will understand and welcome the concept of forgiveness for myself . But seems like a long and tedious journey till then. It’s like writing your research thesis , when you think you made progress, some outlier takes you two steps back . I would appreciate the links for meditation and healing though . Anything really at that point that can calm me and help alleviate the pain.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 