who we choose to be today does not have to be who we were yesterday. From your story you appear to be passive aggressive to the extreme. As if you somehow drew a big line in the middle between the two personalities and you can no longer connect the two. For me personally, life is about balance. I was once passive aggressive but never to the point of hurting anyone. The way that I see it is this, we never learned how to properly deal with our emotions/feelings. Because emotions and feelings are not easy to interpret, we do what we always did in the past. When you take aggressive to the extreme, you lose control of who you are because you never released any of the past anger. Don’t you see how your past passive behavior feeds your future aggression and vice versa? You are in an endless loop because your passive side does not relate to your aggressive side and vice versa. They hate each other’s qualities, passive hates how you hurt and how out of control you are and aggressive hates how you never do anything and how it always has to do something to get results. What needs to happen is YOU have to step in and bring the two together. YOU have to make the conscious effort to not be a doormat nor live a life of violence, YOU are the only one who can change your life. No one can do that for you. All it takes to reign these two in is to mesh them into one, give passive a backbone and give aggressive some compassion and one day you will see the perfection in living with the two as separate and then in union. If not, you’ll just be a bipolar and crazy. No matter what, it’s your choice how you choose to live your life. I do not mean to offend you with any of this, I am simply offering you the truth as I see it.