Suze,

I am sorry for your suffering.

Sadly, today’s society puts a large emphasis on ‘making a living’ rather than ‘leading a fulfilling life’. From an innocent age, we are trained and programmed to perform mechanical tasks when we are adults in which very few are life-enriching. Because many of us have conformed to such a way of life, finding an individual who can (help) teach us wholesomeness is rare leading to many of us lacking purpose and lost once we make the realization.

This does not mean, however, that we are to remain permanently at a loss. This simply means that we must exert a little more effort than usual to undo the years of damage we’ve wrought upon ourselves in order to once again feel (more) whole. My teachers have taught me that delicate things require time and careful nurturing to thrive and prosper. Our lives are such things. We have to take things slowly. Rushing does not help nor is it productive. Similar to a complex math problem, we take the time to come to the right answer. While life contains more intricate aspects, a ‘right’ answers isn’t always correct. Instead, an answer which ‘resonates within us’ is what we should seek. In addition, do not fear should you not have all the answers. For, in fact, we are not meant to know it all. But just because we do not have an answer does not mean that we should be burdened. Sometimes, the answers arrive exactly when we’re supposed to know them. Also, not knowing an answer does not mean we should entirely give up upon our other learnings/teachings. We do not allow one person’s poor attitude dominate our entire view of life, do we? The same must be applied to our inner dealings.

As for your hobbies/passions seeming pointless in comparison to your humanitarian values, do not for a second think so. While it is benevolent to want to perform large(r) acts to aid humanity, do you not believe that showing others what it means to ‘being present’ (in your actions) to be of fulfilling nature? And while large acts are indeed significant, please know that small acts are just as significant in humanitarian pursuits.

I hope this helps. If not, this community will be here should you seek more of it.

Al