Thank You Jessica!!

Here’s the dynamic too ~ Dad didn’t make the money. My Wikipedia mentioned grandfather did. So he made sure I was taken care of in a legal-eze sense. I think, if I were my father’s shrink, that Dad wants to play the hero and so “saves” all the non-related people who go into his orbit for a feeling of importance. Wiki grandpa treated me more of a daughter than he did, in a practical sense.

Anger ~ you are spot on. The few times I’ve expressed anger (not just in this issue) *I* get the fallout. *I* get the looks. *I’m* the one with the problem.

If I were single/alone I would for sure do an experimental disappearing act to see how long it takes him to contact me. What happens is around the holidays (even after 3-4 months of no contact) we get invited in an obtuse way (my teenagers get a text/call the day b/f the holiday, or I get a call from another relative at the last minute.)

Nurturance ~ sometimes when I take care of myself/nurture myself, etc. I get an overwhelming feeling of sadness, for what should have been, for what should be. I am angry at him, embarrassed by him, disappointed.

I’ve had “The Talk” with him, but he won’t change, nothing changes.

I’m looking at the questions you wrote, thinking about each one..