Futureisbright,

Consider picking up a book by Pia Mellody. She writes a lot about, and has studied relationships, where there is a void inside that leads to the partners becoming the light for one another. This inevitablly leads to a “fast fall” and an unstable intimacy. Said differently, from your description, it sounds like you fell into a codependent relationship, and in her asking for space, you actually dodged a bullet. It may be flattering to be the main source of another’s happiness, but over time it becomes more and more difficult to be yourself.

Consider some questions to ask yourself: “Why would I sacrifice my desire for her?” “What is the difference between being in love and being addicted to love?” “If the relationship was a mirroring connection, do I have a matching void inside me that she was filling? How do I fill that void myself, so the next relationship is more stable?”

Pia Mellody’s work is on amazon, perhaps read a few pages and see if it shazams you, seems like a reflection of where you’re at. You spend much of your post on her side, so its mostly a guess. 🙂

With warmth,
Matt