Dear Friend,

Let me see if I can help. I understand what feeling “damaged” feels like.

Let’s look at some other things first.

1. You are 18 and you could be alive another 70 years or longer. That is a long time. You could fall in love and you might have a family. You still have that to look forward to if it appeals to you.
2. This world really needs caring people. I am an environmentalist and I care about the future of the planet and its plants and animals. You could be of great help to people who are less fortunate. You could become a teacher or an artist or a scientist or any of many things. You could have more than one career. The best way to discover these things is just to keep experimenting and trying on new hobbies and jobs you think might appeal. Sometimes, when you push yourself, you will find you enjoy doing something because you did it well. At first is seemed horribly boring.

3. Don’t think you cannot do these things. I have had problems similar to you and I finished graduate school. It is possible. You have more strength in your mind than you know.
4. I am not a doctor so I don’t know what physical challenges you may have but it sounds like you have a loving family so you should be able to benefit from psychological principles like gently pushing yourself to try things until you feel better about yourself and more excited about activities and people. Then something may click for you. Other people your age face the exact same hurdles and probably don’t worry as much about it.

Sincerely,
BB