Hi Ruminant,

Thank you so much for responding. It’s funny (and/or creepy?), but I had been browsing other forums posts to find similar threads and came upon a lot of your answers. I was hoping you’d have some insight to offer here and I’m so happy that you did. =)

I am trying very hard to see the positives of this situation. I hate feeling so hopeful about 3 months from now though…I love him so much and I hate that I made him feel that he was not someone I wanted. How can I stop feeling hopeful about the future? Should I feel hopeful? Is it likely that he will want to give me a chance to re-enter his life in 3 months? How can I not feel like I’ve lost something that could’ve been perfect forever?

How has your situation played out? I feel like a child, wanting someone to tell me what will happen while knowing nobody can. I see myself searching for more answers until I hear the one I want. How did you cope with these feelings?

I’m so nervous about speaking with him in 3 months. I know he knows I love him, I know he loves me, I know he wishes it had played out differently. I just wasn’t in a great place, I haven’t been for some time. I’m terrified that he will move on and I will feel heartbroken all over again. I have gone through break ups before, but never heartbreak. I never prepared myself to feel this way; I never knew I could hurt so much all over. I want to contact him in a month or so and tell him about all the work I’ve been doing on myself with the hopes that he doesn’t close his heart and mind to me. I asked him to keep an open mind and heart when we speak in 3 months; I hate feeling so out of control.

I’m sorry for all of these questions. I feel manic and don’t know where to turn for guidance.